like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize