i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
