he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
