Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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