I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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