32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
