Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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