I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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