Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't deserve a penis
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
