I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
