she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
