Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize