she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
