We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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