are you still at the devil's house?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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