You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
