OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
