Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
