dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
