New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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