why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Shame - the story of my life.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
