Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
