I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
