I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
