he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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