I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i came on her dog
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
