Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
