he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
