I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize