My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just cut my nipple shaving
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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