you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
