She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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