I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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