two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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