He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
