I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize