Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
