No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
