now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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