We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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