Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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