I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
