walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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