Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So much rum. So many feels.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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