He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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