I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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