I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
