I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
