No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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