Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
