i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
