one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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