I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
