he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
