yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
