I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
