Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
