You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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