What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
