We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
