is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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